Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
