He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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