He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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