i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
