it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
