We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
