dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
