Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
