lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
