So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
