He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
