i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
false alarm. still invincible.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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