I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
