my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
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My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
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I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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