all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize