I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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