I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
