Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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