just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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