your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
