my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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