Already got asked if we're dating
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
