we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize