My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
