But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
