Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
