We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
