I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
