Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
