What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
