did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i think i just lost a toe
Oh god it's open bar.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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