I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
