i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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