My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You can't motorboat a personality
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize