New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
