non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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