I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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