Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize