sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
sex in a hospital.. check
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
