Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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