well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
