i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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