My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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