I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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