Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
