Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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