New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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