Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
