i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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