white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
