I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the day after is always just damage control
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
