rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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