I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
