There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
