There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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