im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
