He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
