Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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