Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
