We won't sleep together?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
