Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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