oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
even my farts smell like vagina
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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