..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
