DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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