i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
