I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
